Video game mascots may not be as prominent as they once were, but there are still certain characters we strongly associate with specific brands, developers, and publishers. The latest one to take the stage is 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Astro Bot, masquerading as PlayStation’s mascot.
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When Astro’s Playroom came free with all PS5s, Astro Bot’s fate was sealed. However, I, personally, do not accept it. Sony didn’t consult us, the players, when c♋hanging up who represents it, and some would argue it doesn’t have to, but I still feel insulted. Here’s why I’m not accepting Astro Bot as the new face of Sony.
8 ꦑ He 𝓰Looks Too Smug
No One Smiles That Much
You might think Astro Bot is cute, adorable even, with his little screen-face and blue eyes. Me? I sense a smugness in his aurꩲa that I just can’t get past. He knows what he’s doing. He knows how to manipulate you into thinking he’s mascot worthy.
He doesn’t even have a mouth, but I know he’s smiling. And that smile is not out of pure, innocent joy. It’s smugness. Conceitness. Knowi🅷ng that he has you all wrapped around his little finger. Not me though. I’ve resisted his little charms.
7 He Infiltrated My PS5 Without My Permission ♛
Who Said I Wanted Your Game?
Who said I wanted Astro’s Playroom on my PS5? This reminds me of the time Apple put a U2 album on all our iPhones for free, but no one asked for that. I didn’t opt in to this little smug robot taking up precious memory space on my💛 PS5. Ask me next time,🅷 Sony.
I will admit Astro was more gracious with his sequel, the titula♒r Astro Bot, but once again, look at the title. It's just his name. No creativity, just utter conceit. Not the energy I want on my PS5, thank you very 🃏much.
6 He&rℱ﷽squo;s A Try Hard
Being A Mascot Doesn’t Come Naturally To You, Does It Astro?
I know Astro Bot wants to be Sony’s mascot. He wants it so bad. His squeaky-clean appearance and personality tells me as much. He wou🦂ldn’t put a toe out of line, just so he can remain the face of everything Sony represents.
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Where’s some authenticity? I just don’t feel like I’m seeing the real Astro Bot. He’s trying too hard to be the goody-two-shoes little guyꩲ that appeals to🦩 parents looking to buy their kids a game for Christmas. It’s working for him, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
5 He F☂eelsꦚ Like An Industry Plant
Taking Manufactured To A Whole New Level
Everything about Astro Bot feels manufactured, from his blue eyes to the little antenna on his head. He was created in a boardroom by executives thinking only of the😼 cash he’s going to bring in, not designed fꩵrom the heart.
Nothing about Astro Bot’s popularity feels natural to me. Someone at Sony calculated his every move for maximum outreach and potential. You could e🔜ven say everything he does is robotic, ♎and that would be completely true.
4 🐟 He Beat My Game Of The Year To The Game Of Thꦐe Year Award
No, I’m Not Salty
Astro Bot won Game of the Year last year. Sure, it’s a win for platformers and family games. I can appreciate that. But you know what should have won? Metaphor: ReFantazio. It’s got heart, a politically-charged story, and 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:excellent turn-based combat.
What does Astro Bot h🔯ave? Oh, jumping arou🍌nd a bit. Great. LittleBigPlanet did that 15 years ago.
And it did it better.
3 He&rsquo💟;s Like Wall-E’s Eva, But With None Of The Heart
I’d Rather Be Watching Up
Astro Bot’s design immediately reminded me of something. Wall-E’s robot girlfriend, Eva. They’ve got the same blue eyes and white… um. Body? Well, they look the same anyway. But you don’t 🥀see Astro Bot having a heart-felt romance with another robot and saving the Earth, do you?
He’s basically discount Eva, let’s be r✃eal. Maybe if Astro Bot can distinguish himself from other alr𒈔eady iconic robots, then we can talk.
2 He Can’t Even Get Final Fantasy Or Kingdom Hearts Cameoꦬs In His Game ꧋
Not Even Cloud?
There are loads and loads of 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:PlayStation cameos in Astro Bot. From popular series like God of W🐻ar to indie titles like Kena: Bridge of Spirit🍌s, there’s a cameo from all walks of PlayStation history.
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However, there are two pretty big♍, Square Enix-shaped holes in Astro Bot’s catalogue of cameos. Where’s Final Fantasy or Kingdom Hearts, huh? Couldn’t afford those big bucks? If Sora isn’t friends with Astro Bot, I’m sure a༺s hell not.
1 He Killed Sackboy With No Remorse 🍬
This Is Unforgivable
Ever since Astওro Bot burst onto the scene, we haven’t heard a peep from our beloved Sackboy. The last game he featured in was Sackboy: A Big Adventure, and that launched with a whimper, rather than a bang, and I believe it’s all Astro Bot’sꦇ doing.
Sackboy represents joy, creativity, everything we love about PlayStation’s history. Why has Astro Bot 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:wiped him from the face of the Earth? It’s got to be some sort of severe jealousy, I’m sur﷽e. If we have Astro Bot because of Sackboy’s sacrifice, I ca𓃲n’t get behind that. Ever.
I'll always love you, Sackboy.
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