In my heart of hearts, I am a retro gamer. I still regularly play retro games and enjoy them greatly. Do you know what argument I hate? I hate it when 💦people tell me that I only like certain games because of nostalgia. What an incredibly condescending꧑ position to take. Now, I see you there, squinting with incredulity. I get it. I know what the title of this list is. I wrote it!

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I'm not here to tear down your favoritꦏe games. I'm here to talk about games that I was fond of at one point in my life, but, upon replaying, I felt didn't hold up. Am I coming in hot? You bet your sweet butt I am. I expect the comments section to return that energy, and I don't blame them one bit. But I stand by my opinion that the games on this list have not withstood the test of time.

9 🍒 Mortal Kombat

Blood, Gore, And Nothing More

Sub Zero performs a fatality in Mortal Kombat.
mixcollage-25-dec-2024-02-00-am-3844.jpg
Mortal Kombat (1992)
Released
October 6, 1992

WHERE TO PLAY

PHYSICAL
ESRB
m
Developer(s)
♑ Midway Games ꦍ
Publisher(s)
♏ Midway Games, Acclaim Entertainment
Engine
🌃 Unreal Engine ⛦
Platform(s)
Arcade, 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Nintendo Game Boy, PC, PS1, PS2, PS3, Sega CD, Sega Game Gear, Sega Master System, 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Sega Genesis, SNES, Xbox 360
How Long To Beat
1 Hour

The 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Mortal Kombat: Legacy Kollection is about to release, and I think some older fans are going to come to the same shocking revelation that I did: the first 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Mortal Kombat game hasn't aged poorly, it was never a good game to begin with. Street Fighter 2: Hyper Fighting released in Arcades around the same time as Mortal Kombat. One of those two games is ꦰstill played competitively to this day; the ot🌼her is Mortal Kombat.

Mortal Kombat deserves a ton of credit for taking the world by storm. It was brash, bold, and its gore was a real conversation starter. But while gamers ate it up with feverish intensity back in the day, that fever has since broken. What we are left with is a clunky fighting game that doesn't really do anything well. By modern standards, it isn't even pa🍰rticularly gory.

8 Street Fig💞hter 2: The🐟 World Warriors

A Relic Of A Simpler Time

Ryu fighting Dhalsim in Street Fighter 2: The World Warrior.
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Street Fighter 2
10.0/10
Released
March 7, 1991

WHERE TO PLAY

PHYSICAL
ESRB
m
Developer(s)
Capcom
Publisher(s)
Capcom
Engine
♐ Kart Fighter Engine
Multiplayer
💫 Local Multiplayer
Platform(s)
Arcade, Commodore 64, 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Nintendo Game Boy, Sega Master System, SNES, Wii, Xbox One, ZX Spectrum, Switch, PC, PS4
How Long To Beat
2 Hours

But wait... didn't I just say in the Mortal Kombat section that 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Street Fighter 2 is still a good game? Yes and no. Street Fighter 2: Hyper Fighting (or Turbo, as it is sometimes called) is still legit, but The World Warriors? That game just doesn't pass the sniff test. The smaller roster is to be expected, of course, and being unable to select the same chara📖cter as you🧸r opponent is almost quaint. The real problem is the gameplay. This first iteration of Street Fighter 2 is quite simply too agonizingly slow to go back to at this point.

Famously, Street Fighter 2 received a ton of revisions, but World Warriors was the version that sold the mo🦩st, and it wasn't even close. This places the game in a pretty interesting place, nostalgia-wise. When people think back to their time playing Street Fighter 2, there is a good chance that they are remembering The World Warriors. It is the version I played the most with my brothers, so imagine my surprise when I jumped back into it recently and discovered that it plays like the Street Fighter 2 I remembered... but if it was set in one of those underwater stages from Sonic The Hedgehog.

7 Suikoden

108 Growing Pains

Confronting Kraze with Lepant in the Suikoden 1 HD Remaster.
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Suikoden
Systems
Released
December 15, 1995

WHERE TO PLAY

PHYSICAL
Developer(s)
Konami
Publisher(s)
Konami
Franchise
Suikoden
How Long To Beat
20 Hours

I love Suikodenಞ. I have played ꧙through it at least a dozen times. But I'm coming for a lot of games that people love in this list, so I can't exclude my darlings. At the end of the day, while Suikoden still has a wry sense of humor that I find charming, and a massive roster filled with neat characters, its script is also pretty bare-bones.

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2

While modern RPG scripts can sometimes languish, spinning their wheels with dialogue that goes on too long for how little is being said, Suikoden has the opposite problem. The script zips past at a pace that never allows the big moments to land squarely. I think Suikoden 1 benefits greatly from its ties to Suikoden 2. Especially🌺 s꧅ince the save transfer system allows the first game to tie into the second in a lot of very cool ways. However, while its sequel has aged very gracefully, the game that got the ball rolling in the first place has not.

6 ꧟ Resident Evil 5

The Most Depressing Time Capsule You'll Encounter This Side Of Raccoon City

Wesker Removing His Sunglasses to Reveal His Red Eyes in Resident Evil 5.
resident-evil-5-tag-page.jpg
168澳洲幸运5开奖网: Resident Evil 5
Survival Horror
Third-Person Shooter
Action-Adventure
Systems
Released
March 5, 2009
ESRB
m
Developer(s)
Capcom
Publisher(s)
Capcom
Engine
𝕴 havok, mt framework
Multiplayer
🌊 Local Mu🌊ltiplayer, Online Multiplayer
OpenCritic Rating
Fair

168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Resident Evil 5 was a big deal back in the day. It was the successor to the adored 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Resident Evil 4, and featured a focus on coꦅ-op, meaning thaꦛt you and a friend could both get in on the action. This was a bigger, bolder take on what Resident Evil 4 did. And boy, in retrospect, it sure feels like a downgrade.

While Resident Evil 4 can be blamed for moving the series firmly away from its horror roots, it at least featured a pretty intense first act. Before you get all your upgrades, there is a real palpable tension. Resident Evil 5 never bothers with that. Chris and Shiva tear through enemies like they are nothing. But hey, if you love wacky anime villains, Resident Evil 5 has that going for it. It took 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Code Veronica's very si🅰lly version of Wesker, and cranked up the absurdity all the way to 11.

If you were always in it for the camp, then disregard me. Resident Evil 5 is peak camp.

Playing Resident Evil 5 now is a reminder of how dire the seventh generation of gaming truly was. From its brown-centric palette to its reliance on QTEs to its unengaging third-person shooter combat, every aspect of Resident Evil 5 is constantly reminding you that your time would be better spent playing nearly 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:any other Resident Evil game.

5 😼 Castlevania: Lords Of Shadow

Why Be Yourself When You Could Be Someone Worse?

Castlevania Lords of Shadows: Gabriel Belmont fighting a goblin
mixcollage-03-dec-2024-02-20-pm-9267.jpg
Castlevania: Lords of Shadow
Action
Adventure
Systems
Released
October 5, 2010

WHERE TO PLAY

DIGITAL
PHYSICAL
ESRB
ไ M For Mature 17+ due to Blood and Gore, Nudity, Violence
Publisher(s)
Konami
Multiplayer
💦 Local Multiplayer
Platform(s)
PS3, Xbox 360, PC
OpenCritic Rating
Strong
How Long To Beat
18 Hours
PS Plus Availability
Premium

When you talk about the best 3D 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Castlevania games, Lord of Shadow is likely to be brough🀅t up as being the good one. It didn't feel as barren as the PS2 titles, and it felt better to control than the janky N64 duology. Add to that the Kojima being involved, and you surely have a banger, right? Well... while there is some novelty in a Castlevania-themed 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:God Of War game, Lords of Shadow has a lot of problems.

For starters, it abandons every Castlevania design principle. Deliberate platforming, high-commitment combat, and meticulously designed stages are replaced with level design where you move from screen to screen and mash buttons to flail flashily at enemies. And you 𒀰know what? I would have been okay with that if it wasn't also filled to the brim with some of the most aggravatin𝄹g QTEs to ever grace a game.

We can all thank our lucky stars that this trend died 🦄off. After replaying Lords of Shadow, I gained a renewed respect for the N64 games. While they were rough on release, they somehow managed to age more gracefully.

I was considering putting Super Castlevania 4 on this list, but🧸 while I have a number of complaints, I think that game is beloved primarily because of its aesthetic elements, and those still hit hard. I mean, how am I🧸 going to hate on ?

4 Fallout 3

Turns Out It Was A Bethesda Game All Along

A greyscale image with a logo reading Fallout 3 and a close up shot of a power suit.
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168澳洲幸运5开奖网: Fallout 3
Action RPG
Systems
Released
October 28, 2008

WHERE TO PLAY

SUBSCRIPTION
DIGITAL
PHYSICAL

Fallout 3 takes place in a ruined area around Washington D.C. two hundred years after the Great War. In a game met with critical acclaim, you must traverse this wasteland looking for your father, while solving the mystery of his disappeara𓂃nce.

ESRB
🦋 M for Mature: Blood and Gore, Intense Violence, Sexual Themes, Strong Language, Use of Drugs
Developer(s)
༺ Bethesda Game Studios
Publisher(s)
Bethesda Softworks ꦉ
Engine
Gamebryo
Franchise
Fallout
Platform(s)
PS3, Xbox 360, PC
How Long To Beat
23 Hours
PS Plus Availability
Premium
Metascore
93

I still, to this day, have the lunchbox and bobble head that came with my copy of 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Fallout 3. I love the Fallout games. I was a big fan of the first two titles and enjoyed Tactics for what it was. So, I was eager to see what Bethesda would do with the thir𒅌d game, and while I may not have preferred it to the first two titles, I was pretty happy with it nonetheless. But upon a replay of Fallout 3, I didn't 🔯have to get too far into the wasteland before it hit me how rough it all is.

Naturally, a big part of that is the clasﷺsic Bethesda jank. Things phasing through solid objects, being launched into space by an enemy, NPCs T-posing... you never know what'll happen next! And the gameplay sure is something. Replaying Fallout 3 makes me appreciate Fallout 4's gunplay a little more. That's how rough it is. I am finding myself complimenting Fallout 4. *spit*

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However, where Fallout 3 really goes off the rails is the story. The writing lacks impact, and every step of your journey through the wasteland feels painfully contrived. The ending is a particular lowlight. But hey, at least we got New Vegas and a pretty entertaining show out of this new era of Fallout! And while I do think Fallout 3 is a far worse game than we all remember it being, I will say this about Fallout 3: it is still far from being 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:the worst game in the franchise.

3 Diablo 2

The Tedium Will Get You Before The Mobs Do

Original Diablo Diablo Key Art
mixcollage-25-dec-2024-02-52-am-6377.jpg
168澳洲幸运5开奖网: Diablo 2
6.0/10
Released
June 28, 2000

WHERE TO PLAY

DIGITAL
PHYSICAL

Diablo 2 is an acclaimed action RPG from Blizzard, launched in 2000. Players must progress through levels, acquiri💝ng better l🐻oot, in order to stop Diablo once more. 

ESRB
🌳 M for Mature: Animated Blood and Gore, Animated Violence 𝐆
Developer(s)
Blizzard
Publisher(s)
Blizzard
Engine
pr🐎🔯oprietary engine
Multiplayer
⛎ ꦕ Online Multiplayer
Franchise
Diablo
Platform(s)
PC, macOS
OpenCritic Rating
Strong
How Long To Beat
34 Hours

There was a time when Diablo 2 stood out as being the king of its genre. This is a game that I thought the world of back in the day, and there is still a lot to like. The roster of characters is fantastic and there is some great build variety that is bolstered by an excellent approach to loot. The grim tone still works brilliantly and gives the game a strong aesthetic that really pulls you in. And you can be a werewolf. That's awesome!

I was excited to give the remake a spin a few years ago, but while I was having a ball at first, something happened around six hours in: I got bored. I got real bored. Because for all it does right, the mish-mash of repetitive dungeons that all look identical, have no semblance of design, and feature encounters that do very little to differentiate themselves from each other, started to wear me down. 168澳洲幸运ဣ5开奖网:We've just c🌸ome a long way since Diablo 2. Not only do we have novel takes on the genre, such as Hades, which provides a substantially better designed combat encounters. But there are quite simply more engaging top-down dungeon crawlers as well. In a world where 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Path of Exile 2 exists, Diablo♔ 2 simply feels like a victim of progress.

2 𒉰 Final Fantasy 4 ♍

A 16-Bit Soap Opera

Cecil and his team are battling flying monsters in Final Fantasy 4.
mixcollage-13-dec-2024-08-19-pm-5015.jpg
168澳洲幸运5开奖网: Final Fantasy 4
8.0/10
Released
July 19, 1991

WHERE TO PLAY

DIGITAL

The Kingdom of Baron sent their elite airship fleet, the Red Wings, to attack the surrounding countries. Distressed by his mission, Cecil, a dark knight and captain of the Red Wings, decides to fight against the tyrannical Baron with his trusted friend and his paramour at his side. In his search for the crystals, Cecil must travel over land, under the ground, to the Land of Summons, and even to the moon. Join forces with Kain the dragoon, Rosa the white mage, Rydia the summoner, and many more skilled allies.

FFIV is the first title to introduce the dynamic "Active Time Battle" system, where time moves even during battle, giving the players an exciting sense of urgency.Thanks to the wide appeal of the game, this revolutionary system would be implemented in many future titles in the series.

Witness the dramatic story and dynamic battles in this ♓fourth installment of the FINAL FANTASY se💧ries!

ESRB
e
Developer(s)
Square
Publisher(s)
Square
Engine
Luminous
Multiplayer
Local Multi🐟player
OpenCritic Rating
Mighty
How Long To Beat
22 Hours

The SNES Final Fantasy titles are legendary. 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Final Fantasy 6 features a fantastic soundtrack and a phenomenal cast. 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Final Fantasy 5, with its free-spirited vibes and excellent implementation of the job system, is the closest thing the series has to a hidden gem. And then there is 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Final Fantasy 4. The game that started it all for a lot of fans. The Final Fantasy that introduced the ATB system. Surely it stands shoulder to shoulder with its 16-bit brethren, right? Well, only if you are able to ignore the painfully melodramatic story.

It is still a Final Fantasy game, so it still has a killer musical score. And its cast of characters is extremely likable. However, as charming as they all are, they are about as deep as a puddle in the Arizona desert. There isn't a party member in the cast that couldn't be adequately summed up in three words. And you probably need fewer than that for Rosa, who feels more like a plot device than a real character. It is still an important game in the franchise. I still think "You Spoony bard" is a fire line. But if you are in it for the story, t꧅his is one RPG that's probably best left in your memories.

1 ꧟ Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns Of The Patri💛ot

We Really Used To Have Zero Standards When It Came To Writing, Eh?

Old Snake aiming with a gun in Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots.
mixcollage-08-dec-2024-12-04-am-8193.jpg
Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots
Stealth
Systems
Released
June 12, 2008

WHERE TO PLAY

PHYSICAL

The fourth mainline entry in the Metal Gear Solid series, Guns of the Patriots puts players in the shoes of an ageing Snake and takes place in an alternate timeline in which the Cold War continued into the 1990s. The game introduced se🐻veral new camera perspectives, including an optional first person mode while aiꦫming weapons.

ESRB
M For Mature 17+ due to Blood, Crude Humor, Strong Language, Suggestive Themes, Violencꦰe ൲
Publisher(s)
Konami
Engine
Havok
Sequel(s)
ꦺ 𓄧 Metal Gear Solid 5 The Phantom Pain
Platform(s)
PS3
How Long To Beat
20 Hours

Back when 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Metal Gear Solid 4 released, the PS3 was in a pretty bad place. Basically, Sony needed a win. And Metal Gear Solid 4 was a huge win. It was a cinematic epic! A game that, to its credit, still plays very nicely. At least during those rare moments when MGS4 remembers that it is, in fact, a game. Which is a big part of the issue here, as the division between gameplay and storytelling is pretty staggering. You'll never be playing for long before you are thrown back into another excruciatingly long cutscene.

But there is an even bigger problem at play. Guys, the writing is bad. Like, really bad. It is so ham-fisted that Porky Pig would blush. Not only does it try to wedge every character ever introduced in the series into its disjointed five acts, but it is all tied together by overwrought melodrama so heightened 💞that it teeters on the edge of parody. The monologues given by the game's bosses attempt to reflect the horrors of war, yet they were so over-the-top that I found myself chuckling. I'm pretty sure that's not the reaction Kojima was going for. M💧etal Gear Solid 4 is quite simply a testament to how far our cinematic games have come in the last couple of decades.

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