I’ve got a Pokemon problem. Truth be told, it’s been going on since I was about eight years old. I played Pokemon Silver for so long the internal clock broke. Then I did the same for Sapphire. I probably would have for Emerald too, if my copy hadn’t been a jarg edition I found at a market in Hong Kong that deleted your progress every time you turned your console off. Yes, I still completed🍬 the game despite this handicap.

Now that I'm an adult, I’ve got a different problem. I put hundreds of hours into Sword & Shield thanks to its 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:exciting competitive scene, I would have done the same in Scarlet & Violet 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:had it been in any way playable. I don’t hit the thousands of hours and internal clocks are no longer a thing (or they’re so enཧormous that nobody has ever hit them), but I still love the games.

However, that’s changed over the past week. The recent leaks have shifted my perception of Pokemon. I read them and was equal parts interested and disgusted. The 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Pokemon/human relations are a lot to take in, but the mythological parables are a great add💫ition to Poke⛦mon lore. They feel like they’ve been ripped straight out of Japanese 🐎or Norse mythos, tales of Yokai and Gods repurposed for Pokemon.

The New Pokemon Surging Sparks Cards Made Me Feel Uncomfortable

I thought I could compartmentalise, place these non-canonical tal✃es in a dark corner of my brain, lock the door, and throw away the key. I thought I was doing that well, until I saw some of the new cards for the Pokemon TCG.

While the connecting Durant is causing a stir in the community, there are some killer illustrated rares targeted at me specifically. The Phanpy is as adorable as the cutest Poke🤪mon deserves, and Skarmory’s chrom🐼e wings look sleek in the full-art card.

We all know that the Jasmine special illustrated rare where she’s eating the sandwich w𓆏ill be the most expensive card in the set for… reasons.

However, as I was flicking through the Surging Sparks card list, I was jumpscared by Slakoth. This sleepy boi is just relaxing on some gras♛s, but my mind immediately jumped to the leaked lore surrounding the ‘mon. The tale of torture, death, and human/Pokemon relations crawled out of that corner of my brain and right to the forefront of my mind. This card didn’t deserve that treatment; he’s just a lil’ guy! But I can’t divorce the dozy sloth from its horrific background tale.

I Can’t Look At Pokemon In The Same Way Any More

Truth be told, I can’t look at Slakoth in the same way any more. Nor Octillery, although 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:as ꦺthe victim rather than the perpetrator I feel more sorry for the tank-octopus-thing. Typhlosion, d꧟espite being the best starter Pokemon ever designed, somehow escapes the curse. I don’t know if it’s because I can divorce the idea of Cyndaquil from the story about its evolved form or just because I have more nostalgia for the ‘mon than the others, but the brainrot hasn’t taken effect yet.

This has me worried for the future. I fully intend to play Pokemon Legends: Z-A, but what will I do if I come across a Slaking or Oct🀅illery? Typhlosion is, thankfully, unlikely to feature as it was a starte✱r in the last Legends game, but a wild Cyndaquil could send me into a similar spiral.

I regularly use Vigoroth in Pokemon Go’s PvP mode, Go Battle League.൲ I’m not sure I’ll be able to look my trusty shiny in the eye when it’s Body Slamming opponents, knowing what its compatriots did to a poor woman. I’m sure it taught her a lesson about not torturing Pokemon, but it resulted in 🌳devastating consequences.

Is this just life now? Do we have to contend with remember♌ing these horrific stories every time we encounter one of the Pokemon involved for all eternity?

Only time will tell. Maybe we’ll all move on, acknowledging these terrifying tales with laughs and jokes the next time Octille🐠ry gets an SIR in the TCG. Maybe Pokemon will stop featuring these Pokemon, like it did for so many years with Kadabra? Whatever the case, Pokemon will never be the same.