Welcome to Kilika Fried Chocobo, kupo! As a patron of our grand opening celebration, we will work hard to thrill your tongue and satisfy your stomach with the best cuisine this side of the Farplane. You won't need a purse full to bursting with gil, but we do recommend a 20 percent tip for your hard-working server, Mogrubhub.
Feast your hungry eyes upon our ten-course special, the 'Oodles and Oogles Moogastro', kupo. We're famous for our unique blend of herbs and spices, but don't think you're getting away without sampling every single dish on the menu. Come hungry. Leave happy. Kupo.
10 Kupo-Cola
Why start your meal with thirst when you can enjoy limitless refills of our classically refreshing beverage? Bottled at the legendary Mogweiser Brewery, Kupo-Cola is nine out of ten moogles' drink of choice. (The tenth moogle is a fool, kupo.)
Don't settle for those other colas, with their High Summoner Fructose Syrup and Black Waltz #3 Food Coloring. Our Kupo-Cola is made with real sugar from Sugarway, the Loporrit's farmland. May contain carrots, kupo.
9 ෴ ✱ Oglop Rings
Slobber all over your first crunch into a foodstuff from our Deepground Fryer with six hot and sizzling Oglop Rings, straight from out back. No, really, kupo. We caught these pesky buggers in the alleyway, looking to snatch a few Gysahl Pickles, going "gwok-gwok" so loudly there's no way we wouldn't overhear.
Us moogles pride ourselves on our excellent hearing, you know. Anyway, kupo, they gwok'd their last gwok-gwok on their way into the skillet. You know what they say, kupo: 'if you douse your foe in Oil status, Fire-elemental magic is twice as effective.'
8 Adamantoi⛄se Soup ಌ
Speaking of irritating pests, kupo, we bagged these tenacious turtles in a nearby pond just yesterday. And then we cooked their supple meat in their own shells for good measure. Let none say 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:moogles aren't industrious. We use every part of the animal, kupo!
Remember those Gysahl Pickles? Well, the oglops sure weren't getting them — oh no, not when they were destined to give our Adamantoise Soup its uniquely bitter flavor. Or maybe it's the bitterness plain as kupo nuts on their gasping faces that add that kick. Have you ever heard an Adamantoise death rattle, kupo?
7 ဣ Mashed Popotoes With Kweh-llard Greens 🧜
Moogles don't murder everything we serve. Take our famous finger-lickin' Mashed Popotoes with Kweh-llard Greens, kupo. Homegrown and smothered in butter to really bring out the flavor. Of the butter, that is. Popotoes are a blank slate, kupo. They're what you make of them. At Kilika Fried Chicken, we make them with enough butter to sink an airship. Oh, and salt. You know, you can't forget the salt, kupo. I had an uncle once. Kumuncle was his name. He forgot the salt. We don't talk to him anymore.
Kweh-llard Greens have their roots, that's a pun, kupo, in ancient tradition. Our forebears, the beaver folk, subsisted on nothing but Kweh-llard Greens. Completely flavorless! Then, a human guy named Guy came over. He spoke the native beaver tongue. He threw butter on them. And salt. And, legend has it, that's when the beaver folks ascended, and the moogle race was born.
6 Locke Cole Slaw And Pan-Fried Don't-Tease-The-Octopus
Oh yeah, kupo. We found a talking octopus in the local river. Kupops and Kumama, bless their hearts, wanted to adopt it. But I pointed out, as any well-read moogle would, that the octopus was swimming in Lethe River. Lethe, kupo, is said to be 'a river in Hades whose waters cause drinkers to forget their past'. No, I'm not sure how Hades can be a summon spell, a prominent antagonist, and a river, but that's what I get for breaking the fourth wall, kupo.
Right, the octopus. I figured it probably forgot its past (see above), so there was no harm killing it. Have you ever had the classic moogle dish, 'Fried Kupomari'? It's calamari, kupo, but with 'kupo' in its name, because we're adorable like that and the 'kupo' shtick never gets old. Right? Right. Calamari is squid, and octopus is basically eight-legged squid, kupo. We crush some Dead Pepper we found during a fun-filled day of Chocobo Hot & Cold, toss it into a batch of Ragtime Mouse Roux, and wham, bam, thank you, kupo; you won't find a purple mollusc tastier than our own.
5 Our World-Map-Fꦗamous Kilika Fried Chocobo ꦐ
We love our Chocobos, kupo. We don't put them in cages. We let them roam free upon verdant emerald fields, chomping down Gysahl Greens (not to be confused with Gysahl Pickles or Kweh-llard Greens) and Carob Nuts (not to be confused with Kupo Nuts, because no way I'm parting with my favorite snack for some 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:big dumb bird). From youth, our beloved steeds are trained to be friendly toward visitors and think the butcher-moogle, Mogreatsword, isn't actually going to do the deed. But then he does.
And then we cover them in Gnomish Breadcrumbs and a subtle cohesive coating of the fresh-cracked eggs of their own offspring. And then we season them with Sandragora Salt, some more of that delicious Dead Pepper, and shredded baco𓂃n.
The bacon's from an ordinary pig, kupo. Except this one time, when it was a Seeq instead.
4 Blackened Mage Bis𝐆cuits
If you'll remember our obsession with butter, kupo, then you should know that our signature Blackened Mage Biscuits are just loaded with the stuff. Take a napkin or prepare to face the greasy consequences of your actions. Did you know that Black Mages can cast Reflect? Well, some can. And if you have them cast Reflect on a competing restaurant chain's biscuits, you can effectively pilfer that chain's secrets and sell their best biscuits yourself.
Of course, we're hard-working moogles here at Kilika Fried Chicken, so after we've stolen the recipe, we roll our dough on an aged Oak Staff and bake it with a Fira spell for ten seconds. Oh, this one time, we 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:totally cast Meteor instead, and that didn't go well at all.
3 Well-Bred Breaded Gold Chocoboneless𝓀 Bits
By the way, kupo, every once in a Lunar Moon, a fabled Gold Chocobo is hatched. We don't kill them, I mean, we're not savages, kupo. But we honor their birth by painting one of our doomed birds a brilliant golden hue with fully digestible ink crafted by the excellent Inkingway himself, a rabbit of some renown, if I do say so, myself. The result is a filling plate of poultry that'll make you feel like a million gil, but at the low price of just 10,000 instead.
2 Kumama's Kupot Pie
Harvesting Kupo Nuts is a dangerous job, but somebody's got to do it, and it just so happens to be Kumama's job class. She saunters her way across valleys, hikes high upon Mount Gagazet, and asks the local Ronso to give her bushels of Kupo Nuts for free barters most splendidly, displaying the cunning of a Kilika Fried Chicken family moogle. The Ronso laugh among themselves and supply Kumama with her easily-earned legumes bow in awe at Kumama's tenacity, giving her extra Kupo Nuts as an offering to lordly mooglekind.
What else is in this thing? Oh, yes. Boiled Popotoes. Tender chunks of Chocobo. Um, butter, because you've got to have butter. And Sandragora Salt. And then more butter, and more Sandragora Salt. And we tuck it into the still-sizzling carapace of a butchered Bomb, which probably won't explode. Um, kupo.
1 ♌ Rainbow Flan And Chocookies
In the springtime, kupo, Blue Yellow Flans descend from the plains. During harsh summer, it's the Red and Orange Flans you've got to worry about. Autumnal Green and Black Flan and the White and Pink Flans of winter's chill, all of them, they wiggle and jiggle, and they hunger for a poor and helpless moogle, so we hire people like you to kill them, and then we cook them together, and it's just this darling rainbow effect, kupo, you've got to see it, you've just got to.
You might think the Chocookies are made from slaughtered Chocobo. Admittedly, kupo, prior generations of our family did exactly that. But now that we've discovered the twin delicacies of butter and chocolate, well, we bake ourselves some chocolate chip cookies and then hike the price up because ours is name-brand.