I'm Literally The Only Person To Play Baldur's Gate 3 This Way

By 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Sam Hallahan

Published Apr 10, 2025

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Every time I tell people about my time in 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:Baldur’s Gate 3, I’m met with shock, disbelief, and questions - here’s why. Doctors don’t want you to know step three.

Baldur’s Gate 3 is known for many things; bringing D&D to life for a whole new audience, being one of the most thoughtful and creative RPGs in years, and offering no shortage of quality over itꦚs 100+ hours 𒐪of adventure through the Sword Coast.

However, it’s mainly known as a dating simulator, and we all know I’m 168澳洲幸运5开奖网:using the word ‘date’ loosely.

We All Know Why You’re Here, You Deviant

Shadowheart wearing the red City of Brass outfit in BG3.

If that wasn’t enough of a reputation for Baldur’s Gate 3 already, it’s also well known that these characters are thirstier than [insert southern phrase here]. You could say all the wrong things, perform horrendous acts, and even have a personal grudge agains🤡t every si𝓡ngle one of them, and yet still - someone (probably Halsin) will throw themselves at you.

So tell me: why did nobody want me? I made it through the whole game, 120 hours, with less spice than British cuisine. It’s not like I was actively avoiding these s🔥ituations, and I had close relationships with the characters, but my character - my charming bard - was basically just me. And now that kind of🧜 stings.

Anyway, Here Are Some Lovingly Suggested Titles For My ‘Playstyle’:

Who Knew Romance In Baldur’s Gate 3 Was An Extreme Sport
Even In Video Games, Nobody Wants Me
Even The Mind Flayer Swiped Left On Me In Baldur's Gate 3
Everyone Found Love In Baldur's Gate 3 Except Me
I Was The Turn Off In 2023's Horniest Game
I Have More Failed Romances In BG3 Than Death Saves
Even BG3 NPCs Know I’m Undateable (ouch)
I Roll Nat 1's Talking To Women Apparently, AMA
Baldur's Gate 3 Friend-Zone Run Any%
BG3 Turned Into A Solo Campaign Real Fast
I Found A Game I Love, But No Love In The Game
Romance Is Optional In BG3, And So Am I (true)
If Rejection Was An Achievement In BG3, I’d Have A Platinum Trophy

BG3 Bard walking down dock alone with lonely guy standing at the end

Whenever🥀 Baldur’s Gate 3 comes up in conversation, the usual question you’ll get is, “Who did you romance?” I didn’t. I didn’t romance anyone. No, I didn’t avoid it or turn anyone down. I just somehow got friend-zoned by the entire cast.

Okওay, Iℱ might have turned down the Emperor, but… that doesn’t count.

Karlach? Yeah, we’re besties. It’s fine. Shadowheart? I’m like a brother to her, I guess. Even Halsin seemed more depressed than usual w𝐆hen engaging in a conversation with me. I think the best offer I🐓 got was Astarion wanting to bite my neck, but I don’t think there were affectionate intentions behind that one.

I can’t stress this enough: I was a bard. My Charisma proficiency was my highest stat, and I could easily roll 30+ for Charisma with my modifiers pr𒐪etty consistently. I convinced numerous bosses to off themselves, and many others to not engage me in combat. I changed minds, I changed perspectives, but I could never change hearts.

So when all was said and done, and the world was saved, everyone went their separate ways with their lives. Me? I didn’t have a plan, or anyone to stick with. When it came time for the reuni﷽on in the epilogue, it was a friendly “Ooohh, look who it is! How have you been? Hahꩵa.”

Just a hug would have been nice, you know?